Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Tonight.

I was just really going to use this blog for my poems and quotes & such, but I realized that I need a place where I can relentlessly vent until I can't vent nomore. Or just to put my feelings out there so I'm going to use this place.

So...with that being said.

I am currently on the phone with my boyfriend, & he's singing in my ear. lol I love nights like this. I really cherish them because sometimes I honestly don't know what is going to happen to us. He's like my bestfriend, but lately things haven't been that great. And, it sucks. So much. Like, its to the point that now I don't know how our nights or days for that matter are going to go. I'm terrified of losing him, but I'm not down with arguing every day about some NEW shit. They say when the arguing starts the "romance" is gone, so I praying that things stay good long enough for us to get back to the way we used to be. I don't want to be without him, but without him I don't want to be miserable. I love him so much I can't describe it or begin to even put into words. He's my heart...and I love him with everything in me. I just want us to be happy, TOGETHER. We both have talked about if we split could we be friends, and we both agreed that we could depending on the circumstances. BUT honestly I know deep down neither one of us wants to be 'just friends'...sometimes I just don't know. All I can do is pray about it. Prayer changes everything.

I just hope whatever happens, its for the best and eventually everything turns out right.

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